One of my big pet peeves with grief (and yes, you can have pet peeves with grief) is when I ask somebody if they’ve taken the time to grieve and they say they haven’t because they needed "to be strong" or "be the strong one." *cringe.*
No one needs that.
You don’t need that. They don’t need that.
I understand the wanting to be there for someone, and I understand that you can’t just be a sobbing mess all the time. However, true strength is actually in vulnerability.
Being strong isn’t avoiding the emotions. It isn’t saving them for later. I isn't repressing them, it’s expressing them.
So this is just my plea/invitation: If you are someone who has put off grieving or has been worried about experiencing those emotions, set yourself a little timer, even if it’s just five minutes. In that time, let yourself feel the feelings. Then, when the timer goes off, feel free to go about your business. Even just a few minutes of freely grieving is so much healthier and more healing than continuing to refuse yourself the space and time to do so.
Please please please please please allow yourself to feel the feelings.
Don’t use your own fear or somebody else's grief journey as justification for NOT grieving. It is not strength to not grieve. Please never use the excuse, "I had to be strong," or "I need to be strong," whether it's for yourself or someone else.
If someone else is grieving, they need you to be vulnerable and be there with them emotionally. If it's you grieving, you need you to be vulnerable and be there for yourself emotionally. That's what's strong.